PaulaDeen.com

Forget long, tanned, perfectly toned legs. Or round, heaving, pushed-up-to-there bosoms. You see, a real woman – a sexy woman – a woman who knows how to get a man all hot and bothered? She just needs a couple sticks of butter. And maybe some bacon. No, definitely some bacon. Just ask Paula Deen. She’s been named Maxim magazine’s hottest female chef.

That model-turned-“Top Chef” host Padma Lakshmi? She came in second. And Giada DeLaurentiis, that tiny little wisp of a cook? How’s it taste to come in third, sweetie?

“Anthony Bourdain may think Deen is the most dangerous person in America thanks to her calorie-packed cooking, but we find danger sexy,” the editors at Maxim write of the 64-year-old Food Network star. “Just imagining the slippery, sloppy butter-sex we’d have with Paula makes us…hungry for a bacon-wrapped, beer batter-fried stick of butter, weirdly.”

OK, that’s gross. But here’s what’s grosser: While Maxim featured photos of the other women in its top five list, Dean’s image was represented by … drum roll, please … a stick of butter. Listen, it’s OK to love lard, but geez, guys, at least put a face with the fetish next time, will ya?

Categories: Food News | Tags: Bacon, Buttermilk Biscuits, Buttermilk Fried Chicken, Country/Southern Fried Chicken, Garlic Butter
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